Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
