I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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