What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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