u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize