just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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