Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I party with great urgency now.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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