Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
