is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize