Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
