I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
