Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Randomize
