is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
