I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
