How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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