Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize