Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
