Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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