hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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