someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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