And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
