hell yes lets make some ravioli
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
