I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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