One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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