He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
