So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
