i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
