well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
