does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
