and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
