My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
