Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
