Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
