So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Randomize
