Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
ttyl tear gas
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
