Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
