Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
