Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
