I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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