Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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