I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
