what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
