he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
