definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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