Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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