The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
