guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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