my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Randomize
