I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
