It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
