I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
