I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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