We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
