Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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