my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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