OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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