Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
