the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize