I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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