why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
