Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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