apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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