I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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