So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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