Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
