I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
