I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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