Acid is not a monday night drug
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
