My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
