That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
