What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it was like eating out sand paper
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
