I think I just saw someone hide a body.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
