Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
