So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize