I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
