Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
