We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
