omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
