also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just threw up on my dentist
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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