so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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